my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize