I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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