He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
