I want to stick my p in your. b.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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