You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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