so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize