he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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