I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Green mimosas i think yes
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
