apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize