you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
