Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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