Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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