Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
