I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
