Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize