Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
