why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your cock deserves a montage
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
