The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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