Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
