so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
