is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
