Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize