i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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