There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
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I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I need to align my fucking chakras
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