I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
