I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
