So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
