You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
