So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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