Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize