Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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