Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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