DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
