Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

Fav 32 1624 6514
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding

Fav 51 1019 7550
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.

Fav 29 5243 1835
share tweet
(319): View more from Iowa

Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

Fav 13 5802 2178
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.

Fav 11 4361 1330
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.

Fav 11 5401 2009
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.

Fav 37 14143 1694
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(289): View more from Ontario

Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

Fav 3 1283 564
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.

Fav 0 42 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT