is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.