I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
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Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
