Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.