Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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