Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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