Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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