I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
