My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
