there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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