Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
