i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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