I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
