FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
