I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
