I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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