He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
