In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
