shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
