And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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