i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
