and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
