Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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