Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
