either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize