I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
