At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
