Whats the glycemic index on semen?
do herpes really smell.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
