my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
