you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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