please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize