There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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