I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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