I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
