where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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