she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
